Mother Lover
by Akumakagemaru
Summary: A bit of crack, and and AU. There's a contest in Konoha, and Naruto and Sasuke have teamed up...please read the A/N at the start. Rated for the song.


**A/N: Just had a bit of inspiration here, and I hope you find this as amusing as I did. For those of you unfamiliar with the song, search YouTube for Mother Lover, by The Lonely Island, with Justin Timberlake. Go on, check it out.**

**...**

**Okay, you should know where this is going now. Read, and enjoy!**

**xXx**

"Love one another, lie undercover!" Sakura sang on the stage, swinging one hand over Ino's head as the blond ducked.

"So, are you friend or foe, cause I need to know!" Ino sang the end of the song, and rose from her duck to hug the pink haired girl, who feigned a look of surprise before returning the hug.

The lights cut out and the girls were met with thundering applause, every table in the building clapping for the show.

"Dobe, I seriously hope you know what you're doing," Sasuke said behind the stage, listening to the girls reception as they bowed and soaked up the applause, feeling that they would win for sure this year.

The reason for this was that the yearly Konoha Tag-Team Karaoke Contest, one of the larger events in the village that everyone from shinobi to civilians participated in, had been won for the last several year, ever since their graduation from the Academy, by Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. These repeated victories had been the result of, surprisingly enough, Naruto's ingenous ideas, using unexpected songs and comical skits to achieve this - and they were also the only reason he had managed to convince Sasuke to go along with his current idea.

"Don't worry about it Teme, we've got this in the bag like always. Yeah, they were good, but so were Kakashi and Gai last year," Naruto replied while smoothing out his gray suit and yellow shirt, watching the girls heading backstage behind him and down the steps to the audience to enjoy the rest of the show, while Kakashi and his partner for the year, Asuma this time, began singing. The sounds of Kakashi's smooth voice could be heard, "Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes," followed by Asuma's slightly rougher voice, "Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow."

Sasuke turned to face Naruto, smoothing out his matching suit and orange shirt, and gave him a deadpan glare. "I know we're going to win, that's not the issue, we always do. My problem is that you're going to be...pretending, thankfully...with my mother..." Sasuke's face started turning red and his eyes turned red, tomoes spinning wildly, and Naruto cut him off before he could launch into a tantrum. "And you'll be doing the same with my mother, you think I'm happy about it? Geez, its just for the show Teme, don't get your underwear in a knot."

Sasuke glowered at the blonde, then turned away with a scoff, and after a few minutes noticed their mothers approaching, both in bulky looking clothing. "Just in time, sounds like it's about time for us to go out."

Naruto glanced at the stage, Kakashi kneeling, head down, finishing the chorus with "I'm tired of being what you want me to be," before more applause could be heard, even louder and more frantic than Sakura and Ino had been followed by. "Yeah, sounds like it. You ready Teme?"

"You know it, Dobe." With that, the duo quietly slipped onto the stage, each holding a small, brightly wrapped Christmas present in both hands.

The sound of a prison door sounded, and they both walked down the prepared steps, dropping their presents into a garbage can. Naruto's watch beeped and his eyes widened as he checked it. "Oh dang."

Sasuke looked at him and asked, "What is it dawg?"

"I forgot it's Mother's Day."

Sasuke nodded a few times, "Didn't get a gift for her."

Naruto nodded also, "Other plans got in the way."

"This could have been avoided."

They both turned to the audience and sang, "What the hell are we gonna do?"

xXx

In the audience, Kakashi sat next to Asuma, grinning.

"What's up Kakashi, they didn't discuss their skit with you did they? I know you're their sensei, but they've never shared their plans cause of that..."

"No, no, they didn't...but I know this song. You're going to like it I'm sure. A winning act."

"Hey, you heard the applause, we won this year for sure!" Asuma hissed, eye twitching.

"Well you haven't heard their applause yet, and I know how this is going to go now..."

xXx

Back on stage, Naruto and Sasuke were sitting next to each other, and Sasuke started singing next.

"My mother's been so forlorn ever since my daddy left." Mikoto Uchiha entered from Sasuke's side of the stage, sitting on a bed wearing a long white nightgown.

"Cold."

"No one to hold her tight. Life has put her to the test."

"I know just what you mean, my moms been so sad and gray." At this Kushina appeared behind Naruto, sitting at a table with her head in her hands."

"Word."

"My daddy can't satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away."

Again they sang together, "Hold up," looking to the audince before turning to each other, Naruto singing again.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"I'm thinkin' I'm thinkin' too."

In unison again, "Slow up!"

"What time is it dawg?" Naruto sang.

"It's time for a switcheroo."

xXx

Asuma's eyes slowly widened watching the boys as he caught on to the meaning of the song.

"Got it yet?"

Asuma's only response was to pull out a cigarette, eyes glued to the stage.

xXx

The pair sang again, still sitting.

"We both love our moms, women with grown women needs. I say we break 'em off, show 'em how much they really mean, cause..."

They stoof up and began singing again, "I'm a Mother Lover, you're a Mother Lover, we should fuck each others mothers."

"Fuck each others moms!"

"Pushin' that place that you came out as a baby, ain't no doubt that shit is crazy, fuckin' each others moms!" Kushina walked past the two, Naruto waving his hand out after her, with Sasuke lowering his glasses to stare after her.

"Cause every Mother's Dat needs a Mother's Night, if doing it is wrong, I don't wanna be right."

"I'm callin' on you cause I can't do it myself, to me you're like a brother, so be my mother lover."

Naruto appeared in front of Mikoto, holding up a small bottle in one hand and some roses in the other. "I'm layin' in the cut waitin' for your mom and clutchin' on this lube and roses."

Sasuke showed up again, standing against a counter with Kushina sitting on top of it as Sasuke held up a small camera. "I got my digital camera, I'm gonna make your momma do a million poses."

"They will be so surprised," Naruto sang.

"We are so cool and thoughtful."

"Can't wait to pork your mom."

"I'm gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle."

They both turned to the audience again, "Sho nuff!"

Sasuke sang again, "My mother loves bubble bath with chamomile."

"Straight up!"

Naruto sang next, "Give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-d-doggystyle."

xXx

In the audience, Jiraiya and Tsunade sat together, watching with wide eyes, though only Tsunade spoke.

"This is...I can't believe they'd sing this in front of all Konoha...right Jiraiya? ...Jiraiya?" She glanced to her side, a wide, creepy grin on his face and a trickle of blood dripping down his lips and onto the notepad he was hurriedly scribbling, not even paying attention to the blood staining his 'research'.

She promptly slapped him upside the head, hitting the back os hid head hard enough to double him over. "Ugh...pervert..."

xXx

"This is the perfect plan."

"For a perfect Mother's Day."

"They have to rename this one," and they turned to the audience together for the next line, "All up under the covers day!"

"Cause I'm a Mother Lover, you're a Mother Lover, we should fuck each others mothers."

"Fuck each other's moms!"

"I'm pushin' that lady, where you came out as a babe, ain't no doubt that shit is crazy."

"Fuckin' each others moms!"

"Break it down!" Naruto sang, and they both turned to face each other,getting in each other's faces, noses touching as Naruto started again.

"It would be my honor, to be your new step-father."

"It would be my honor, to be your new step-father."

"While your in my mother make me another brother. And I'm in your mother, I'll never use a rubber," Naruto sang, both of them turning to face the audience.

"Oh!"

"Cause every Mothers Day, needs a Mothers Night. If doing it is wrong, I don't wanna be right. I'm callin on you cause I can't do it myself.

"To me you're like a brother, so be my Mother Lover." Mikoto was laying on a bed on one side of the stage, Naruto on top of her as she flipped down a picture of Sasuke. Naruto reached over and turned it back up, at which Mikoto gave a small grin.

"They blessed us both with the gift of life. She brought you in this world so Imma sex her right."

"This is the second best idea that we've ever had. The choice can be no other."

"Be my Mother Lover!"

With that, the lights cut off to signal the end of the show, with Mikoto and Kushina wearing towels wrapped around their bodies, smiling up at Naruto and Sasuke standing behind them, respectively. The lights cut back on, and all four bowed, before heading backstage, all smiling at the thundering applause and much of the audience standing - as well as several cat calls.

"Told ya we had it in the bag! Ha! Are you gonna stop arguing with me now?"

Sasuke grunted, but still smiled. "It was a good show, went off without a hitch. I'm just glad its not real."

"Eh...about that..." Naruto began, one arm still around Mikoto's waist they way they'd left the frontstage, and placed the hand on her stomach. She also held up one of her hands, smiling brightly and showing Sasuke a ring he'd never seen before. "Congratulations! You're gonna be a big brother!"

Sasuke stared blankly, his Sharingan activating and spinning wildly again as his eyes slowly bulged, his arms stiffly held at his sides. Naruto had already bolted, Mikoto with him and laughing at her son's laughing, both of them deciding to leave when they noticed the veins in his forehead.

"Naruto, you motherfucker! I'm gonna kill you!"

"Well, he certainly is, and quite a good one I hear." Sasuke's entire body twitched, having forgotten Kushina's presence until she draped an arm over his shoulders. He turned slightly to meet her gaze, noticing the small grin on her face. "You're rivals aren't you? Don't you want to prove you're better?"

Sasuke's only response was a dull nod, his eyes wide. He didn't even resist as she lead him away to her place, chuckling at the nose bleed he had.


End file.
